The Accidental Bride Read online

  All of which was very odd, because calm was simply not her style. Manic energy and driven behavior fit her usual character profile.

  It was all very confusing.

  “About that thing you did on my shoulder,” Walker began gruffly. “Do you think you could teach it to me? Or maybe tell me more about it, so I can find someone in practice around here?”

  “Of course. I’ll call my friend and ask him to recommend a therapist.” Jilly crossed her legs, wriggling deeper under the blanket. “So it really helped? I mean, your muscles seemed more relaxed afterward, but it’s hard to know.”

  “It helped. And I’ll take any help that doesn’t involve major surgery and long-term drugs,” he said flatly.

  “Amen to that.” Jilly smiled, holding up her bowl. “How about a refill?”

  “Another bowl of double chocolate fudge, coming right up.” When Walker started through the door, Winslow rose from the spot he had claimed at Jilly’s feet. Walker shook his head. “No need to go inside, Win. Stay out here and keep an eye on Jilly.”

  The dog almost seemed to understand, turning to look at Jilly and then settling back down on the rug that Walker had spread over the cold cement. Jilly saw that Winslow moved a little slower and it seemed to take him longer to settle into a comfortable position.

  She reached down, stroking his head, pretty sure that Winslow, just like his taciturn owner, would rarely reveal any signs of pain.

  Walker came back, carrying the wine from dinner. “How about a refill on your glass?”

  Jilly shook her head. Tonight had already gone to her head. The clear air, the good companionship and his amazing chili were working their way deep into her defenses. She wasn’t about to add more wine to that heady mix. “A girl needs to keep a clear head around you, my friend.” When she reached out for the bowl of ice cream, their hands met. His thumb stroked her palm, just for a moment.

  A moment was all it took to shatter years of defenses, Jilly discovered. An instant was all you needed to find yourself playing a game of what if, perched on the dangerous edge of possibilities that you had never before considered.

  Yet Jilly had never been one to sugarcoat the truth or console herself with empty promises. She looked down at their hands, one big and capable, the other small, yet equally capable. There was next to no chance that they had a future together. There was next to no possibility that she would even stay in touch with him after this week ended.

  She forced her eyes up to his. “You’re a very good man, Walker. I wish I had met you years ago. But right now…you could say that my future’s murky. And even if it weren’t, I’m not a good prospect in the relationship area.”

  He didn’t move, studying their hands, so close together. “I think I know how you’re feeling right now. I understand about pain and illness, how they can worm right into your head and strip you bare if you let them. So don’t. Because if there’s one thing I learned in Afghanistan, it’s this. One boot in front of the other. Eyes ahead. If you keep looking back, it will kill you.”

  Jilly traced a line of condensation running down her bowl. “Oh, I’m trying to wear the happy face, Walker. But sometimes around three o’clock in the morning, the smile gets a little shaky.” She studied his face closely. “But then you know all about that, don’t you? Even though you never complain.”

  Walker seemed to choose his next words carefully. “Yeah, I know all about the graveyard hours. At three in the morning the memories can walk. Most of the time they’re the bad ones. The words you wish you hadn’t said. The faces you wish you could have saved. Three o’clock is their time, no mistake about it. I figure they’re not going away anytime soon so the only thing to do is compromise. I give myself fifteen minutes a day to worry. That’s when I pour out all the dark stuff. I let it go full tilt, believe me.” His jaw hardened. “And then I put it away. Back it goes, right into a little metal box and it stays there until the next night.”

  “I don’t know.” Walker’s eyes turned a little distant, so she reached out, gripping his hand hard. “If you’re strong, I can see how it would work. The problem is, these days I’m not always feeling so strong. When I try to shove the dark things back into their box, most of them escape.”

  “Give it time, honey.” He gripped her hand back, and Jilly felt the strength in the calluses. She felt all the support, freely given.

  “So far I’m holding on. Bad times or not, my friends help me.”

  “You never talk about your family. You must have someone you can rely on.”

  Jilly felt the old burst of regret and anger. These, too, belonged with the three o’clock memories. “Nope, no family. An orphan and glad to be one. From all I can see, families are a major screwup. I’m better off without them.”

  “Sorry to hear it. And you’re right about families,” Walker said dryly. “They can be a royal pain. I’m glad you’ve got good friends back in Oregon. What was the name of that town again?”

  “Summer Island. You and Winslow should come visit sometime. It’s best in the summer, with the harbor full of boats and sunsets that never end. But any month is pretty great.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” Walker cleared his throat. “Jilly, I won’t beat around the bush. Something’s going on here. I feel it whenever you’re around.” He gave a dry laugh. “Or maybe it’s all one-sided.”

  “It’s not one-sided.” Jilly forced out the words. “The old me, the person that I was before all the medical problems began, would have jumped without a second thought. I’m attracted, Walker, and that’s why I’m determined to be thoughtful about this. I want to be smart and grown-up. To do the right thing.” She opened her hand over his and felt his muscles tighten. “I’m counting on you to help me,” she said softly.

  “Counting on me might not be the best thing right now. I’ve come back from a dark place, Jilly. It’s taken me time and more work than I ever thought possible. You’re the first woman I’ve looked at twice in a very long time.” He reached up slowly; his palm cupped her cheek. “So I’ll give you a word of warning. I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you in that airport.” A muscle moved at his jaw. “And I want you right now.”

  Suddenly Jilly wanted him to press her, and she wanted to press him back. She had a strong hunch if he kissed her right now, slow and thorough and careful the way he did everything else, her head might just unscrew and go spinning off into space and there would be no going back. And where did that fit in with her new plan to be responsible and grown-up?

  Leaning her head against his shoulder, she closed her eyes, fighting a fresh wave of longing. “I’m not used to being careful, Walker. Reckless and impulsive is more my style. So don’t give up. Don’t let me give up, either.” Driven by an impulse she couldn’t control, Jilly leaned closer and brushed a slow kiss across his mouth. The contact made her body sing. She did it again and sighed with husky pleasure.

  “I thought we were going to be smart.” Walker’s fingers threaded through hers. “On the other hand, everyone should be impulsive sometimes.”

  He cupped her chin and angled her face up. Slowly their lips met.

  It was heat and speed, wild danger and perfect calm all at the same time. Jilly wiggled closer and slid her arms around his neck, tracing the rigid line of his shoulders. When she brought her mouth hungrily over his, he muttered her name. His hands slid around her waist and tightened, bringing their bodies together.

  She felt his heat and need. She felt the effort he was making to control both.

  Jilly had never been wanted this way. She had never thought about relationships that could be measured in years instead of days. She had never wanted more than laughter and an occasional night of heat and need.

  But now…she wanted everything. She wanted these strong hands to touch her. She wanted those dark, thoughtful eyes next to hers when she woke up in the morning. She wanted Walker, and heaven help them both.

  His hands slid slowly to her hips, urging their bodies even clo
ser.

  Whispering her name, he stood up and lifted her against him. With the blanket still wrapped around her, he carried her through the silent rooms to the living room. Her hands slid around his shoulders as he kissed her, and his tongue brushed hers.

  When Walker sat her down on the thick rug in front of the fire, her hands dug under his T-shirt. Clumsy with eagerness, she sighed when her palms met the heat of his chest.

  “Jilly, wait,” Walker said roughly. “I want you. I want this. But…we could both walk away right now and no harm done.”

  “I don’t want to walk away.” Jilly’s voice trembled. She tugged the T-shirt over his shoulders and marveled at the powerful line of his body in the firelight. “I think I wanted you from the first second I saw you in the airport. Even if it was Winslow I fell in love with first,” she said, with a shaky laugh.

  “Winslow’s pretty hard not to love. And you knocked me right off my feet. You were like some kind of irresistible force.” His hands slid deep into her hair and he pulled her down onto his chest, kissing a line up her neck. “I’ve always been a sucker for a strong woman. You blow with gale force winds, but I can deal with that.”

  “I think there’s a compliment hiding in there.” Jilly struggled to pull off her jacket and sighed when Walker finished the job for her. Dimly she realized she was losing control and logic fast.

  Down the hall a phone rang. Walker frowned.

  “Do you have to get it?” Jilly whispered.

  “No,” he said raggedly. “It can wait.”

  And then another chime sounded, this time from his cell phone, hidden in the back pocket of his jeans. He glanced down at the screen and his eyes hardened. “Give me a minute, Jilly. It’s my family.”

  “Oh. Sure…take your time.”

  Walker’s eyebrows narrowed. “Don’t worry. It won’t take long,” he said harshly. “It never does.”

  That didn’t sound good at all. Jilly decided it confirmed her long-held belief that families were something you did much better without.

  She heard him speaking tersely from the kitchen. Short questions and long silences.

  He was only gone for two minutes. His face was unreadable as he walked back, sliding his cell phone into his pocket. “Sorry about that.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Sure. As good as it ever is with them.”

  He frowned, and Jilly reached up and pulled him down beside her. “Forget about them. Think about this instead.” She pinned him to the rug, kissing the hollow just beneath his throat. And then the curve of his shoulder. “I think this was where we stopped. And it was feeling pretty wonderful, believe me.”

  Walker’s eyes closed. His hands slid around Jilly’s waist as she began to kiss her way lower.

  She felt the tension in his body. She felt the desire that raced through him. She gloried in her ability to trigger that swift, masculine response.

  Her hand opened slowly over the waistband of his jeans. She licked her lip and looked up, her eyes searching his. She didn’t know what she was looking for, but somehow Jilly knew she’d found it. She felt heat and trust and belonging. She saw tenderness flicker in that blazing desire.

  Her toes dug into the rug. She nipped at his mouth and then yanked at his belt, hungry to touch him and be touched. The pleasure they shared would be unforgettable.

  His phone chimed again.

  “Hell. What do they want now?” He blew out a breath and rolled over, pulling out the phone a second time.

  Then Walker went still, scanning the screen. “Jilly, I need to take this.” He rose to one knee. “It’s important. It’s about…a job. That’s the only thing that would make me stop right now. Do you understand?”

  The rasp of his voice touched her like a kiss. “Go on. Do what you have to do. Just don’t take too long.”

  Walker touched her face gently. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine.” With effort, she pulled her T-shirt back into place, wriggling away to sit up on the rug. She felt Walker slip a blanket around her shoulders.

  Then he stood up and walked to the kitchen.

  “Walker here. Yes, I’m leaving tomorrow. That’s what we planned.” There was a silence and Jilly heard him bite off an oath. “No, Winslow is not coming. I told you, no trips less than a week. It’s too hard on him.”

  Another silence.

  Jilly thought he had had this conversation before. She turned away, trying not to eavesdrop, but it was impossible not to hear.

  “Fine. Pass it all the way up the chain of command. Take it to the President while you’re at it. That rule doesn’t change. Those were my terms when I agreed to help you. Winslow stays. And I’ll be there tomorrow.”

  He stopped, listening. “What did you say? When? Where are they being held?”

  Held?

  “Are they still alive? Did they issue any demands yet?”

  Jilly sat frozen, picturing a scene that left her cold. Walker walked away down the hall, so she couldn’t hear anything else. She realized now that he had never really left that world. His terms of service had changed, but he was still a hero.

  And Jilly was pretty sure that she had never loved anyone more than she did this strong, quiet man.

  Winslow looked up from his comfortable spot on the couch and whined. She sat down next to him and scratched his head. “It’s okay, honey. Everything is going to be fine. You’re coming to stay with me tomorrow, and Red has a whole batch of jerky for you. You can have as many as you want.”

  She heard Walker’s footsteps circle through the kitchen. Drawers opened and then closed. “Send me all the information you have. I’ll go over it during the flight.”

  He walked back into the room, putting away the phone, and then stood staring out the window. Jilly could feel the waves of concentration flowing off him. Winslow noticed, too. The dog sat up and whined low in his throat.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “No.” His voice was rough. “I’ve got to go earlier than expected, Jilly.” Walker’s gaze softened as he pulled her into his arms. “Maybe it’s better this way,” he said harshly. “If that call hadn’t come when it did, we’d be on that rug naked right now, halfway to paradise. I’m not sure I would have been able to stop once we got started.”

  “I wouldn’t have wanted you to stop,” Jilly whispered.

  Walker blew out a breath. His hands tightened. Yet his grip was gentle, as if she was the most precious thing in his world and he wanted to remember this moment.

  “Hell.” He stroked the line of her neck downward, stopping just above the swell of her breast. “How am I going to walk away from you?” Slowly the leashed hunger in his eyes became wry humor. “Some mess, isn’t it?”

  “There will be other nights.”

  “Is that a promise?”

  Jilly nodded, certain that the gift they had nearly shared would be worth waiting for.

  Walker raised her face up to meet his and brushed a hair off her forehead. “You don’t mind taking Winslow a little early?”

  “I’d pay you for the chance. He’s a dream. Let’s round up his doggy bed and blanket, or any other special items. I don’t want him missing you in the middle of the night.”

  But Jilly realized that she would be the one missing Walker. And no blanket or bed was going to make her wanting any easier.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  THEY DIDN’T TALK MUCH on the way to the resort.

  Walker had stowed a big duffel bag in the back of the truck, and Winslow’s bed, blanket and toys were stacked in the backseat. Jilly’s skin still seemed to tingle, painfully alive after their encounter. She didn’t have to wonder what might have happened if those phone calls hadn’t come.

  She knew.

  And she couldn’t bring herself to regret where her heart had led her, throwing caution to the wind.

  She slanted a glance at Walker. His face was shadowed in the darkness, lit only by the beams of a passing car. “So where are you headed?
”

  He cleared his throat. “I can’t tell you that.”

  “Will it be dangerous?”

  The minute the words were out, Jilly regretted them. Of course it would be dangerous. The rough urgency in Walker’s voice while he’d spoken on the phone had made that clear.

  “I don’t know all the details yet, Jilly.”

  “But you’ll be careful. Just…promise me that.”

  Without taking his eyes from the road Walker reached across and gripped her hand. “Always.”

  Jilly realized she would have to be content with that, though her head was buzzing with questions. Even Winslow seemed uncomfortable, standing up often and shifting restlessly in the backseat.

  When they turned up the driveway at the resort, Jilly saw clusters of women moving up the path to the main lodge. She recognized some of them from her class that morning.

  “I forgot to ask. How is the knitting going?”

  “Better than I thought. And it can be relaxing, once I stop fighting with the needles.”

  “I’m glad it’s working out. Mamie is proud of the classes here. She checks out all the groups very carefully. The teachers have to be the very best.” He parked directly below Jilly’s room and then reached back for Winslow’s bed. “Jilly, about tonight—”

  “There’s nothing to say, Walker. I meant what I said. I’m not a good candidate in the relationship department. And it’s clear that you have a lot of things going on in your life right now.”

  He crossed his arms slowly. “Which means?”

  Jilly frowned. “It means…on the off chance that there could be something permanent hiding here, I want to do this right. So go off wherever it is you have to go. Do whatever it is you have to do. And then come back here so we can figure out what happens next. Winslow and I will be waiting.”

  And because her throat felt raw, burning with unshed tears, she yanked open the door and jumped out.

  “Wait.” Walker caught her at the bottom of the steps. Winslow danced around their feet, barking happily, certain that this was a new kind of game.

  Jilly was frightened by the emotions that crested over her, watching Walker kneel down next to Winslow. “You’re going to have to stay, buddy. Jilly will take good care of you. Don’t be a pain in the neck, okay?” Walker grimaced as he got a mouthful of Winslow’s wagging tail. He scratched the excited dog behind both ears and then stood up, holding out a piece of paper to Jilly. “That’s got my cell phone number on it. Call me if you need anything. I may not be able to answer right away, but leave a message. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”